The CDC just announced that you don’t have to wear a mask. Of course, this is not all good news, as this makes it much harder to pull a stickup at your neighborhood Seven Eleven. It also means I’ll have to shave more often, fix my teeth and cut my nose hairs. Jeese, I dunno – I was starting to get used to all of the mask advantages. And I was kinda feeling like the Lone Ranger, too – you know, like being a legendary kind of guy. People were saying: Who was that masked man? as I disappeared into the sunset. Now I’m not afforded that respectability. Worse than that, people can see me crying when I lose playing ping pong. I really hate that, so please, CDC, at least let us rejoice about defeating Covid-19 by proclaiming a … masquerade party. I’ll wear my elegant black Hanes mask. Please, let me pretend to be Zorro for just a little longer. Lao Du
Editor: Although the CDC has changed its guidelines and no longer requires masks in any venues, Ping Pong Parkinson will follow the New York State directive, which still mandates wearing masks indoors.